POSTED 10.30.2025 // 11:57:22 AM // MUSIC // STATUS: HANGRY
THE THREE KINDS OF STARVING MUSICIANS
You've heard of the starving musician. Of course you have. It's practically a job title.
But, honey, I've been around enough green rooms, banquet halls, and wedding receptions to tell you there isn't just ONE kind. There are THREE. And I'm not judging from the cheap seats here. I have BEEN a starving musician. I've been all three of these, sometimes in the same week, so trust me when I say I know exactly where this is coming from. (My stomach is growling just typing it.)
THE CLASSIC
This is the one we've all heard of. Not enough gigs, can't make no dough. Ramen is a food group. Tips are dinner. “Exposure” is something they keep getting paid in, and you can't put exposure in a pot. (I've tried. It's mostly just steam and sadness.)
Been there. Counted quarters for groceries there. Got the T-shirt, except I couldn't afford the T-shirt.
THE OVERBOOKED
Plot twist: this one has TOO MANY gigs.
They're playing exactly when everyone else is eating. Cocktail hour? Playing. Dinner service? Playing. That gorgeous buffet with the little carved ham? Playing NEXT TO IT. Then the last chord rings out, they pack up, and they sprint off to the next gig, smelling the ham on their way out the door.
I have personally said goodbye to that ham. More than once. I still think about the ham.
Fully employed. Fully starving. Who knew success could be this hungry?
THE ONE WITH BASS FACE
You know the face. Eyes closed. Lip curled. Head bobbing like the groove personally owes them money. They are IN THE ZONE.
There's food. There's time. There's even somebody holding a plate out to them. Didn't matter. They were too busy feeling the pocket and forgot to ate.
Yes, ate. Their brain was too full of music to remember grammar AND lunch. (Hi. It me. I'm the one with bass face.)
A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
If you book a musician: feed them. Save them a plate. Wrap it in foil. Write their name on it with a Sharpie and a little heart. Speaking from experience, they will remember you forever, and they will play better at your next event. That's just science.